Hello China. Here I come!

Gosh! I've just realized I haven't made any new entries for more than a month!
Well, nothing new. I've just graduated. Left Boston for good, although I will miss Boston, and hope to visit the city again some day.
I'm happy and glad that I did manage to squeeze in some time for parties, outdoor activities (camping, etc...) and traveling after my last and final class, and before leaving US though.

Funny how I know I'm now a masters student, but i still don't feel any difference.
Will be going to Beijing next for the next "adventure". I had to explain myself to so many people why the "sudden" decision to study mandarin in Beijing so soon after just graduating from US. I'm getting tired of the questions already actually.

Easiest way to explain without a headache is to day say "I'm still trying to run away from the reality of life as long as i can -working!"

Have to get some shut eye soon. flight will be early tomorrow morning. make that early today :)

The Temptation between to Toil & to Reward

The temptation to reward first before completing work.
Can't!
Not yet. I can't.
Even so, the temptation to just give up from toiling for nearly a year, with lack of sleep and lack of even a simple weekend break, is so strong.
Study/Work Hard, Play Hard.
Is it worth it?
The temptation to simply take 'rewards' without even bother to toil for it first is so great.
Constant fight. Between the balance of the two.
Right now. No. not really. Constantly throughout our lives.
If we were to take our rewards so easily, too frequently, we always be ordinary. Never able to achieve more than what we can do/be.
If we were to toil forever, too frequently, we will be 'great'. But we will end up loosing the other part of us that makes life worth cherished.

So which is it to be?
Sometimes, I grow sick and tired of this 'little' game. Sometimes, it's just not worth it. And yet sometimes, I can't. It means too much. It means almost like giving up on life itself.

San Francisco... We meet again, ol' friend

Went to San Francisco about 2 weeks ago. Gosh! I didn't realise I haven't updated my blog for weeks! I've been so busy I hardly had time to sleep at all for the past few weeks. Even on weekends.
I'm nearly burnt out from all the studying and projects in school. It's to the point where I don't really care what's my result anymore. I love the school, but when you've been stuck in the pressure pot for too long, you just feel like you need to get out and go crazy before feeling guilty (for leaving the pressure pot) and going back (into the pressure pot).
Hence, back to the subject of San Francisco, met my uni' senior and his wife there for the 4th of July (US independence day) holiday. It also felt so good to hangout with people who knows you so well, that you don't have to worry about just being yourself and not to worry if you might have accidentally offend a person when you show your 'bad' (grumpy/sarcastic, etc) side. I forgot how much I love San Francisco. Most of the seals have left the docks. Perhaps because it's summer.


After all these years, I still remember this one tiny shop in Pier 39 that I love so much. What can I say? I love earrings. Harry Mason's earrings are just very unique and gorgeous. They are the reason why I picked up the wire craft as a hobby anyway. So that I can make my own earrings once in awhile.

I saw the Alcatraz (finally manage to get into Alcatraz this time, it's soo worth it) , museum of fine arts and castro street. Museum of Fine Arts, just the building and the surroundings itself makes you think as if you are not in US at all but probably somewhere in Europe. Castro St was interesting, with all its rainbow flags to support the gays.
I guess I'm having a writer's block at the moment as I really can't figure out what else i wanna say in this blog. Tasks and errands that I have to do are also running in my mind at the moment. Tomorrow's gonna be long day again, with 9am-5pm team activities, projects and packing (yes, I have to start packing some of my stuff in boxes already).

You Only Miss It When It's Not There

I LOVE JALAPENOS IN MY SANDWICH! :D
I can just imagine my parents saying...
"that's our daughter. She has to be different compare to the rest!" shake heard

I seem to be a very late 'bloomer' when it comes to picking up a certain thing from a culture. I still find it a weird phenomenon within myself.

For example:

1. I couldn't speak Sabah Malay for more than 3 minutes with my friends until I unconsciously start talking in English back again when I was a kid living in Sabah. Weirdest thing was, the first thing that came out of my mouth when I tried to speak in Malay when I moved to Semenanjung (Peninsular) Malaysia, my sabahan accent and slang came out naturally.

2. I could only speak in Sabah Malay when I was in KL and Johor, but after awhile, I started to talk in malay, in KL accent only once after I left KL and lived in Johor.

3. Everybody close to me knows I hate eating chillies as I don't believe in spoiling the taste of the food with too much spice to the point that you can't taste your food properly. The point is, I used to take only (which is very mild) maggie brand chilli sauce. It is so mild that I believe even a 6 year old can take it. I refused to take anything spicier than that. Now that I'm overseas, tis funny how I have recently been craving for something spicy. I can't get the maggie brand for chillie sauce, so I have been eating the Lingham's brand instead.

Currently, I Love jalapeno in my sandwich. Just the thought of it makes me salivate. Haha. The best sandwich with jalapeno that I've tried so far is from Quiznos, which is just below my apartment. Nyum Nyum! :D

Darn! it's already 11pm at night and just the thought of it is making me hungry all over again.

Module C is a Killer

A few of my classmates and I are currently scaring our 'juniors'. Everybody has this idea that module C (the last semester) should be more relaxing and easier since there's more holiday gaps. The reason for more holiday gaps are to make it easier for us to search for a job more actively. Well, I don't know about that. All I know is that a couple of us who decided to take Financial Modeling as an elective haven't really manage to sleep for the past few weeks. Those of you who are on skype, msn and yahoo messenger would probably know what I mean. Since I'm normally online nearly 24hours a day! I can feel the strain on my body from continuous lack of sleep (I normally don't sleep at all the night before class, or make that a 1 hour/ 30 minutes nap if I'm lucky). Funny part is that my whole body feels cold, even though it's 80F/32C degrees!
So I'll be the only one wearing a thick jacket while the others are in T-shirts.

Anyway, enough of my yapping about my studies. Wanted to share some of what I think as the best shops that I like in US.

1. ColdStone Creamery.
Simplest way to explain this will be making ice-cream in action. If only they serve it like these guys in the video in my block. sigh :)


2.Build a Bear Workshop
I like how they are creative in allowing their customers to participate in making the bears. Makes it more sentimental i guess.


And just in case you guys think that only kids do this, think again :P


3. Krispy Kreme
Okay, okay. I'm not really keen on Krispy Kreme since I went OD (over dose) on it the first time I tried ( more than 3 doughnuts will make you sick. it's veeery sweet). But I wanted to add this is for Mas who's missing it alot :P

Charity Walk - Easter Seals

"Bird A: What's wrong with you?"
"Bird B: Shy.."

Took a short break from studying and projects today. Went for an Easter Seals walk with my schoolmates and the school staff. This will probably be the first and (possibility the last?) picture you will ever see me post of my picture in here? Guess where I am in the picture? :P. All the people in yellow t-shirts are from my school.








I like this picture the best somehow. The best of friends, hitching a ride.

Summer is near

first bug i see in Boston

Weather is great now. No more waking up to cold air.Yay!

I'm in my last semester at school now. Have more 'holidays' so in that sense less stressful? Yeah right, I chose to take 2 classes and 3 seminars, unlike some of my 'smarter' friends who chose to have all as seminars so that they have plenty of time to relax? Nevermind. Everything comes back to the same question - What's you objective? And my objective is still the same, to learn as much as I can, not score as high as I can.

Anyway, a childhood friend of mine came over for the long weekend last week, hence the reason for me to not have the time to update my blog. I'm much closer to his elder sister than I am to him. Therefore it was more of an eye-opener and also learning more about people and things back in my hometown experience.
We saw Fergie from black eyed peas in one of the clubs the other day. So much for that experience. We had to pay USD30 for entrance fee and all we saw was Fergie's dancers doing the dancing (they were awesome!) and her coming up to the stage once in awhile to say "wassup?". That for USD30? I might as well buy a bottle of Shivas and throw a party.

New York & China (Beijing & Shanghai)

Why would millionaires need to bargain in the first place?

Just came back from a school field trip to China last week. Will have to finish my homework later tonight. No rest for the weary and busy people.

New York
New York hasn't change much since I last came 10 years ago. I find it really interesting that you can find imitation goods and fake dvds selling right in front of the cops though; and to think that we normally hear about US complaining about China and the rest of Asia for selling fake goods? Although the number here is small, but it's still nearly like the pot calling the kettle black.


Street vendors in New York

China
Well what do you know? Apparently I find myself able to survive in China on my own with the limited mandarin that I know of after all.

Beijing people reminds me of the older generations, such as my grandparents generation very polite and courteous. The air pollution that everyone knows China is popular for wasn't that bad in the city as they have moved most of the factories to the outskirt of town.

Shanghai on the other hand is totally different from Beijing. If I were to compare Shanghai and Beijing, Shanghai would be similar to Las Vegas and Beijing, Washington DC?

Everything in China is huge. The factories are big and there's a lot of tall apartments/condos/buildings all over the city. The cities are huge with nearly 20million population just within the cities itself! I hope and wish to visit China again one day as a tourist next time, instead of just doing company visits.
one of the govt owned factories in Beijing

The Bund in Shanghai

Home Alone for a month

one of the oldest church in Boston, located near Copley

I've just realized that this month will (/is) symbolize a lot of one of the many firsts in my lifetime for me again.

I had a small cookout party at my apartment the other day. I experimented where everybody brought a few ingredients of their own, and most of us end up cooking in my small kitchen so you can just imaging the small ruckus we made amongst ourselves.
can i have the pot now?
when is it my turn to cook?
what are you cooking?
is it done yet?
All in all, we all had a nice time. Even my housemate/roommate was enjoying herself after so many months of being stressed out (all of us were, because of school).

I've never been (will be) really alone for so long. My house mate (what they call as roommate here) will be away for a month. I'll be coming home to an empty apartment for a month. We'll see if I will go nuts first or be able to feel as if nothing has changed.

Meanwhile, I'll be going down to New York with a few of my friends tomorrow, and off to China for a school field-trip for a week. Will try to cram as many low-budget traveling as possible while I'm still a student and 'single'.

I won't be going back home before graduating though, since my loving family has imposed a one-year exile on me. All I can say is, thank god mom was able to see me through a short detour after her business trip. I miss home and my peeps. But with her visit, no matter how short it was, helped to ease my restless soul a bit. Apparently I'm not the only one as I know a number of my schoolmates who are going back home right now even though we only have 1 week break.

I've talked to some of my schoolmates here. To those people who have managed to cope being away from their home so well. Those that I talked to so far, they have managed to deal with it because this is not their first. But I also found out from my limited research and knowledge, they have come to get used to not feeling attached to their homeland and have a little difficulty feeling totally belonged to their 'former' homeland. and this has nothing to do with the phrase "macam kacang lupakan kulit" (the peanut has forgotten its skin, where it came from). It's just that people grow and get exposed to different things.

Sometimes I do wonder if people back home really do miss me, or they have learned how to move on, and my presence there doesn't really matter. Sometimes I wonder if I would feel that way. Consider the idea that your surroundings is just an enhancement of your life? As the saying goes, life goes on, right?


At the end of the day, it's your own faith and believe in yourself that will be guiding you through the labyrinth of life.

No need to mention to me that I only have 3 months plus more to go till I graduate. That doesn't matter and that's not the point. Just one of my random thoughts. I'm learning and growing.
I'm fine.

Dreams form My Father -Barack Obama

This is a good book to read if you like to read about the philosophy of life and people's biography.

The book is about how Barack grew up as a boy in Indonesia, worked in Chicago and went to Kenya to finally meet the other part of his family that he didn't really knew. In this book, he mentioned about how he encountered racism, politics and most of all, about himself (being of mix race) and his family. He never mentioned about how he manage to overcome/deal with racism and politics though. He sort of mentioned how he manage to finally accept and understand himself by learning about his family and most importantly, his father that he had only met once in his life but has a huge impact on him.
Funny enough, I find that I can relate to him somehow on quite a number of his life experiences.

Not bad for a future USA president. Whatever it is, be it Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama, the US presidential race of 2008 will definitely be interesting. :)
here's some excerpts his book.

"Of course it hurts. Sometimes you can't worry about hurt. Sometimes you worry only about getting where you have to go"

"Our women have carried a heavy load. If one is a fish, one does not try to fly - one swims with other fish. One only knows what one knows. Perhaps if I were young today, I would only care about my feelings, and falling in love. But that's not the world I was raised in. I only know what I have seen. What I have not seen doesn't make my heart heavy"


Finally!
Completed my exams. Left with only one major client presentation to go (by today).

Sick... again?

I hate getting sick.
someone actually commented that i'm probably sick nearly every week. well, not really. but nearly. there's a bad flu bug spreading around in school ever since january. i wish my body is stronger...

dear body,
i know i haven't really been taking care of you that well lately. especially since i haven't given you enough exercise that you crave and enough sleep that you wish to have. but come on, is 1 year of this so much for you to bear?

dear mind,
i know that you're stronger than my body, so can you please quit having an inner war between the left and the right and just concentrate on getting body working fine? apart from doing well in studies okay?

dear heart,
please figure out the priorities and get it right!


and if you guys are starting to think i'm going nuts. yes, i am :P
I HATE COLDS (be it sickness or even temperature)!!!

Brain Preference

Are You a Right-Brain Thinker?

1. Which of the following most closely describes your strengths?
Your answer: Conceptualizing and creating
Right-brain thinkers tend to be better at tasks such as conceptualizing and creating. Left-brain thinkers tend to shine in the realms of mathematics, technology, and science. If you are a right-brain thinker, you may be more inclined to take in situations or people as a whole instead of a combination of parts with various details. People who prefer the outdoors and physical activity are often right-brain thinkers, as sports tend to emphasize intuition over verbal communication.

Your quiz score makes you: Mix of a Right-Brain Thinker and a Left-Brain Thinker
Now that you've completed our enlightening quiz, you probably know you’re a mix of a right-brain thinker and a left-brain thinker! The best of both worlds! Now the big question: does your career suit your brain type? If you are feeling out of sorts or dissatisfied with your job, let your right-brain/left-brain knowledge guide you on a new career path. Even if you're totally satisfied in your current job, taking a class could allow you to explore and cultivate a part of your brain you may not use in your career. By working with your natural talents, you'll be likely to succeed at and enjoy work and school at the same time. With the wonderful educational opportunities literally at your fingertips, there's no reason not to be in a happy and fulfilling career. It's possible to be both creative and professional. It might be time to match your brain to your job before more time goes by.

no wonder i'm confuse at times. 'jack of all trades and master of none'?
my brains fighting for brain dominance! :P

Weekend Ski Trip

I was starting to get burnt out with all the readings, studying and 4 - 5 hours of sleep everyday. It was really a struggle for me to leave my books behind for just one weekend.
In the end, I manage to leave the books behind and with 15 classmates, we went up to Stratton Vermont for a weekend of Ski and Snowboarding.

Skiing feels like sort of a mixture of horse riding and rollerblading, except that you're not suppose to go slow when you go down the hill! Fell quite a number of times on the first day, but skied much better on the second day. In fact, we were so good that my friend and I were confident to go and ski on all the green slopes (beginner's) all by ourselves (Joe, another friend, taught us how to ski on the first day, and accompanied us all the way).

Now I just have to deal with my achy bones and muscles (yeah, right... what muscle do I have in the first place, lazybum! :D)

Back to School with a Fresh mind.
Trip was totally worth it compare to me hibernating this weekend.

It's Snaining....

It was snaining (snowing + raining) last week.
I didn't come up with the word this time. My friend did.
:)

Lesson for the week, which will last a lifetime for me...
You judge yourself by your Intention
People Judge you by your Behaviour

I spent too much time studying in starbucks

ben & jerry's sign in Vermont.

Got this from the venti mocha cup....

The way I see it. #214
What would you do for someone you love?
Would you lie, cheat, steal?
Break the law and call it justice?
Would you say yes? Scream no?
Would you kill? Would you give up your own life?
Would you move mountains, swallow fire, keep a promise?
Would you change the world?
Would you change yourself?
What would you do for someone you love?

~Jodi Picoult
Novelist. Her most recent book is Nineteen Minutes.

... and I have 2 exams this week (finance & national strategies).wish me luck or all the best, you guys...

Operations Management, Influencing Customer's Behaviour

I read an interesting article from Harvard Business Journal "Influencing Customer Behaviour in Service Operations" today. The main idea is that there's only 2 ways for you to influence or control people's behaviour. The donkey with a carrot or stick analogy. However, there's several variations on how to implement this analogy. It'll be interesting to see this theory put into practice at work.

Instrumental Control
You control by rewarding or punishing individuals according to their behaviour
1. Nature of Managerial Influence - Explicit Rewards and Penalties
2. Focus of Managerial Influence - Individual
3. Positive Benefit - Rewards or Discounts
4. Negative Implication - Penalties or Charges
5. Economics - Expensive to Implement
6. Example at work - You get a $5 fine for coming late to the meeting.
7. Example (Companies) - Credit Card Services (late payment penalty).

Normative Control
You control by using ('manipulating') people's emotions and feelings according to their behaviour
1. Nature of Managerial Influence - Social Approval and Disapproval
2. Nature of Managerial Influence - Community
3. Positive Benefit - Pride or Sense of Belonging
4. Negative Implication - Shame or Rejection
5. Economics - Free or Low Cost to Implement
6. Example at work - You get a praise from everybody for a job well done.
7. Example (Companies) - Ebay, Amazon (allows public to see public record of buyers/sellers track records)

Normative Control works best when trust and interdependency have already been built up between the company and the customers. It also helps when customers understand that their actions do matter.

Therefore, transparency and sense of belonging are keys to success in no matter what we do?

Blood, Money & Girl Scouts? :P

Blood Donation...
I can’t donate blood in US.
I’ve been donating my blood back home regularly, on an annual basis, but I can’t donate here.
You will be deferred if you are from Malaria borne countries, Europe (mad cow) and Africa (HIV? AIDS? etc...?)

Money
US money is made of fabric. It’s not made of paper. So much for paper money



Girl Scouts
I finally tasted the girls scouts cookies! They have a few variety. They are planning to go transfat (something that we asians never bothered about until we come to the west, just think about is as what we thought of counting calories *roll eyes*) soon so less people will be concerned about gaining weight and bad calories. Even the coke & chips here have 0 transfat label on it.


Japanese Invention
Thanks Gaga! I love the toilet seat cover. Especially during winter. brrrrrrr!

and the lessons for the week are...

Positioning Yourself In Life
I know where I am and what are my current capabilities, but I'm unsure how to go about my game strategy. What are the odds of life/events playing like a rational player?
Sorry folks! That's business strategy jargon. It shows that I am paying attention in class. hahahahahha....

Claustrophobia
The bomba, police and ambulance here are really efficient. They are able to reach their destination within less then 15 mins. All of them will come as long as the alarm in the building triggers even though if it's just because someone got stuck in the elevator or the smoke in the oven hit the smoke detector.
Thinking of my claustrophobia and knowing it comes from the irrational fear that no one will either never find me or won't be able to rescue me on time, perhaps i can one day change my mindset and just think that someone WILL rescue me on time will help ease the panic attack?

Career Fair
It is not meant for you to get an interview. It is meant for you to find out more about the company and for you to go for an interview only if you are invited earlier on before the career fair started (when you have already sent your resume and cover letter to them way way before the event started).
CIA and FBI were interested though. Probably because they just realised that they made a mistake because they can only hire US citizens and yet most of us who were present are International (non-US). hahahahah

sick & homesick...

I am getting better now.
I can take care of myself, if I wanted to :) :P

However, I couldn't resist after seeing mas's blog...


give BOSING more *HUGS*

*HUGS* TOTAL!

Get hugs of your own



virtual hugs anyone?

I don't wanna wake up...

It's getting warmer nowadays... around 30F (2 degree celcius this morning). Have decided to sleep without the heater on at night since it's still quite cozy. Big mistake in the morning. freezing air once I stick my arms/legs out of my blankie. Makes me feel like I don't wanna get off from my blankets!
Airbed still surviving and in good condition! :D

I know how Garfield feels now.

Theme of the month, Red (Valentine's & CNY)

Tungau : Happy Valentine's Day. Do you like my gift (snow storm on valentine's day)?
Bosing : Yes. Err... Next time, can you please just give me the snow without the rain?
:D

It finally really did snow! Too bad it was a mixture of snow and rain, therefore there was sludge. My friends and I had to nearly hangon to the railings for dear life because of the 3 inch thick of brown sludge that we had to go through to go back home from school on Valentine's night (if you're not so sure what's a sludge, imagine a brown 7eleven slurpee)! By the time we reached the subway, we were all pretty tired.

The next day itself, we had another different type of challenge. The snow and rain had stopped and instead of the thick brown sludge, we had to go through slippery, icy walkways (imagine putting the slurpee into the freezer and freeze it till it's rock hard!).

Was so busy, didn't even realise that CNY was around the corner. Ended up doing nothing much at all for CNY. No angpao this year. :(
Invited some classmates over to the apartment and we had a chinese cookout. 3 chefs in a small kitchen. It was fun! I should have thought about it earlier on instead of shying away from inviting friends over because of my cooking skills? Not as great as my parents mah. :)

All in all, I baked some croissant today for lunch and had mee goreng with leftover food from the 'party' yesterday. not too bad.

I'm not so sure if anyone's reading my blog anymore actually. Should I or should I not even bother to update this blog? Then again, maybe I should just write so that I can have something to remember about my journey abroad. Will post some pics later once I get my computer back.

Making a Difference, when it comes to ...

snow in front of school last month

Coming Back Home
I've recently went for a Harvard Business School Asia Conference.
Know what's interesting? Apart from all the hype of China and India becoming the next big thing of the 21st century, The ecconomists and businessmen are really interested in the whole Asia as a whole. They see a rise of Asians reciding/studying abroad, returning back to their home country to make a difference. They predict that Vietnam will be the next big thing after China and India. Backed by Vietnamese Americans, Vietnam is growing.

Regardless of some expert opinion that the rest they are not interested in the rest of the South East Asian Region for now because most of them "shot themselves on the foot" during the 1990's, I realised that I saw a lot of Asians or even people of Asian decends wanting to either go back to their country of origin or contribute to their nation's economy in anyway they can. We even had quite a number of Singaporean leaders as part of the panel for a few of the discussions. I guess my question is, what happened to Malaysia? Why are we so quite? Why aren't we making a difference like the rest of our neighbouring countries? Thank god for Jimmy Choo. I can't think of anybody (big personality) else who would like to contribute back to our society.


Personal Social Responsibility
I'm still attracting certain characteristics of people.
Even though I never did volunteer in school for it, I'm somehow caught once in awhile, in an unofficial role of mentoring people older/younger than me. More of the former than the latter. I don't know why. My patience and tolerance to just listen and refrain from giving advice till asked has increased tremendously. Even though I am busy/have limited time to spare at the time. Blame it on my guilty conscience if I ignore people in need. Or what I've been joking lately as my PSR.

Taking Notes
I don't know how to take notes like a normal person anymore. Normal conventional note taking makes it hard for me to figure the correct structure for it, especially when you hear people talking from all different angles. Besides, after having to read too many things, notes will just make you feel sleepier. realised that the only notes that I know how to jot nowadays are in the form of mind-mapping. Sometimes I get too colourful (literally) with my notes. Here's a sample of my mind map during a team meeting. Like it? :D

ARGGH!!! IT'S FREEZING COLD!!!

Winter in Boston
Things I wouldn't have known unless I lived here.

1. Weather patterns
During winter, it's normally warmer when it snows. It figures. It's currently freezing cold right now, and it hasn't really snowed yet in Boston! (-2 to -19 degrees in celcius).

2. rain in winter
I'm flabbergasted! It can actually rain in the middle of the freezing frigid cold winter!!???!!!! It rained last weekend, and then it snowed a little and then it rained once again! Made the ground all slippery and muddy. imagine trampling on the leftover ice in your old freezer.

3. skin
my oily/combination skin can turn to dry skin once exposed to cold wind. But currently, with the proper general daily routine, my skin is perfectly a normal skin, yay!

4. running in winter
I don't recommend this to anyone. at least from a tropical climate. I ended up coughing in class today because i ran to school.

5. rivers in winter
the river banks can turn into ice (on top) but water will still flow on where the current is the strongest

6. birds in winter
there are still some birds still swimming about in the icy cold river even in winter. Before this, I thought all of them would either be hibernating or migrate to a different country by now.

7.ear warmer
you don't have to wear those funny looking furry ear warmers to keep your ears warm in winter. dad, let me know if you need me to buy you one of these (ear warmers by 180s) . it's so cool!!! and warm!!!!

If I'm living in a fairy tale, can I make my dreams come true?

No rest for the weary.
Just came back from celebrating the 'death of artemis cohort' (a.k.a. my class). It's currently 3:35am in the morning, and i have learnt how to deal with less sleep. So, for those of you who have a position in their company, that thinks I can fit the mold of the ability to work with people from different background, be it fieldwise, locally, or internationally, please let me know and I'll pass my resume to your HR.

Module a/2nd Semester is finally over today, or should i say yesterday at 7:30pm? I'm going to miss my class as I have grown and learnt a lot from them (about 50+students) and also my team mates. Now, the Artemis and the Apollo cohorts will ceast to exist by next week, so not only will I have to deal with different team (from different countries, again), I have to deal with learning with probably a different cohort environment.
For those who don't know, which i'm sure most of you guys don't know, apparently the 2 classes/cohorts that I have for my batch have different personality. I think I have/had a great cohort (artemis) and I'm going to miss them when we're going to module B (3rd semester) as the school board will mix everyone up and create 2 new cohorts.

I AM going to miss my cohort and teammates. But then again, the whole idea is to learn how to cope with working with different teams from different personalities and different background, right? I am trying to learn really hard how to get out from my comfort zone. After all, according to the "Who moved my Cheese?" book a few years back, the whole idea is not to fall into the trap of staying within your comfort zone, right?

Which comes to my next point, is it possible for me to act like the "Legally Blond" movie? Is it okay to be diifferent and still be able to change the world, or at least die trying like what all the CSR companies (genuine startups at first) did earlier on?Despite the negativism/sceptism of some of my 'more mature' classmates, I hope I can make a difference.
i don't want to 'lead a normal typical life'. I want to know that my life has a purpose on this earth. I want to make a change without getting influenced/discouraged from others who tried and got burned along the way.
Check out
www.benjerry's.com, www.hersheys.com or even www.patagonia.com
and you'll know what I mean.

at least I die trying vs. guessing all my life if only i...?

Can I make my dreams come true?

Hello New Year! Hello New Me

Exposing myself on the internet. something i thought i'll never do, and yet maybe it's time for me to shake my comfort zone and see what it's like. another rebellion against my norm. :P

My thoughts on me _____ in a foreign country

1. being alone
Sometimes I feel so alone. But that's good as I finally get to see for myself how much i can cope and handle it. I want and need to know how far I can go and survive by myself. It's great and comforting for me to know that I am so lucky and I am grateful to be able to stay on the positive side and have so many friends (apart from my family) who cares about me. The other day, I had an 'im chat' with my friend via skype alone in my bedroom; and for awhile, it made me feel nearly as if nothing had change and I wasn't far away in an unknown territory. It felt like I was back home in my country. It's so great to know that even though physically I am far away, but in reality, spiritually/unphysically, I am not alone. I can feel it.
Yes mum. I know you have been conducting pow-wows and updating the clans about me constantly. I feel the heat all the way on the otherside of the world. Keep it up! :P

2. getting to know me and love myself
Hello me. How are you today? What do you like and what don't you like? What are your strengths and weaknesses? what do you plan to do about it? Is it okay for you to accept and love your flaws? I know deep down I need this and I want this. Who am I without the other roles (the daughter, the girlfriend, etc...) to play? Don't get me wrong though, I love my family, boyfriend, best friends and close friends to bits. But I need to love me too. And I can only do that once I know me.

3. being sick
I have no one to manja me now. I'm so used to feeling grumpy and babyish and having someone to fuss over me when I'm sick. And when I have someone to fuss over me, I can start acting I'm strong and I'm fine and I can just ignore the sickness away. Can't do that now. :)) Have to learn myself how I'll cope with it now. One thing interesting though is the overwhelming response I have from my friends here and at home, especially on all the im messengers. i have so many friends who care about me (at least more than I expected). Giving me wishes and advices and also turning into my mommy alarm clock on when to go to sleep! hahahhahaha. Thanks you guys! I rely on you! ;)

3. "growing up"
maybe i am moving towards my teenage rebellion age. I'm trying and doing a few things I probably would never have done had I stayed over in my comfort zone, being in familiar territories. I admit it. I am stubborn and I can be very proud and smug about myself or my family at times. At least secretly if not openly. Which is such an irony when you think about how people normally tell me I am down to earth and "humble" in certain ways.
Now, there's no such thing as mentally hiding behind daddy's legs or mommy's skirts when I think I may need a backup plan. The temptation to see how far I can go and to test certain things is such a great seducer to me. But at the same time, I listen to me; to my concience, to my heart. And I use that as my guideline to tell me when I should stop and what/who is the real me. Not the daddy's girl, not the mommy's girl and not the boyfriend's girlfriend. But just me. And somehow, I think it's important for me to find out.
Don't worry guys, I haven't done anything bad. :) I don't do drugs or even smoke cause that's just ain't me ;)

p/s: It's not as if I don't have any negative moments. It's just that I CHOOSE to be positive. I don't care if people consider it naive, I consider it as your life being too short to feel down all the time.

4. getting my relationship closer with someone far far away
among all the things that I anticipated before I came here, this was the least that i expected to happen. I'm so much more in touch with some of my cousins and friends now. It's such an irony as we used to not see each other that often at all when I used to live nearer. Now that I'm living world's apart and in a totally different time zone, our relationship's getting way better. It's awesome!

5. learning to cope with my insecurities
you're confident because you know. you're insecure because you don't know where you stand. The only way out is for you to learn as much as you can about it and figure out how you want to deal with it. it's okay to be weak at something. nobody in this world can be good in everything. it's okay. still a work in progress.

6. learning how to deal with human relationships (people) outside my comfort zone
still a work in progress. especially when it comes to dealing with delicate matters... and women. But I am 'forced' to deal with it and I am getting better at it. Maybe i am getting more mature?


I don't know if I am a caterpillar turning into a butterfly or turning into a moth. I don't know. I have mixed feelings. But I'm willing to find out. As mom's favourite son says it, "you are stubborn. you are willing and try to accept a different opinion, but probably not immediately".

Que sera sera. What will be, will be.